Tag Archives: Libya

Moammar Gadhafi, name-too-hard-to-spell a-hole

22 Mar

We couldn’t get a Smith or a Jones to go and be a ruthless dictator hell-bent on f-ing its people. We had to get some dude with 54 ways to spell his last name. Seriously, according to Oregon Legal Research there are 54 ways to spell “a-hole.”  So, what is it Moammar. G-A-D-H-A-F-I? Q-A-D-D-A-F-I? K-A-D-A-H-F-I? G-H-E-D-D-A-F-I?  Pick one, for God’s sake and let the folks at CNN and Fox run with it. So when they report that your ass was blown into a million pieces by a scud missle, they won’t have to Google the spelling of your name. Or better yet, if you want the Guinness World Record for last names, quit being a war-staring a-hole. Our troops are a spread a little thin right now.

Big Oil, greedy, price-jacking a-holes

24 Feb

Really, BP, Chevron and Exxon Mobile? You’re using the Libyan unrest as an excuse to fill your already overflowing coffers? You’re using Gadhafi’s incoherent rants to pad your bonus pool? Well, F.U., a-holes. The guy isn’t working your derricks for you. He’s not on the R&D team. He’s not driving the ships either. So what gives? You may not be aware of the actual price of gas because your butlers fill your tank for you, but it’s about $3.30 a freaking gallon. That ain’t cheap to those of us who don’t get stock options with our jobs. Haven’t you screwed us enough already by poisoning our Red Lobster dinners? Well, stop. Suck it up. Take a hit for a few weeks. And prove that even greedy a-holes can have a heart.